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A Pity Party is Still a Party

A Feel-Good Guide to Feeling Bad

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

Most of us try to avoid feeling sad, but in this candid, comical, and deeply-felt book, therapist Chelsea Harvey Garner doesn't just argue that the future will be brighter if we learn to enjoy the unenjoyable and support each other when the vibes aren't so good, she also shows us how.

What if all the advice we've received about "looking on the bright side" is wrong? What if sadness is actually the key to happiness, and can even be . . . fun? Garner is here to make that case. In this feel-good guide to feeling bad, she claims it's not enough for us to tolerate hard feelings. We need to embrace them. We need to let them show by crying with others. Often. In public.

Playful, at times irreverent, but always sincere, Garner is the grown-up Miss Frizzle for the therapy generation. She believes that if we want to build a world where mental health is the norm, we have to lean into connection and count on each other, even—and perhaps especially—at our worst.

Through anecdotes about her own hardships and insights gained in her clinical practice, Garner illuminates the power (and embarrassment) of opening up. Featuring solo exercises, group activities, and journal prompts alongside personal essays, she invites us to see emotions in a new light and engage with them in a healthier way. A Pity Party is Still a Party helps us find the silver lining, but only after we've played in the rain.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      April 17, 2023
      “Pain is part of the human experience... not a sign of failure, weakness, or spiritual disfavor,” writes psychotherapist Garner in her wise debut. Despite a culture of “anti-emotionality” that dismisses strong feelings as useless or illogical, the author notes, the full spectrum of emotions (including painful ones) is central to a rich life, and processing them, especially in groups, can spur healing. In brief essays, Garner explores ways of managing sorrow and melancholy, probing the ills of emotional repression (ignoring feelings “cuts us off from important messages our body is trying to communicate”), why it can be healthy to cry around others (“relationships require responsiveness”), and how to decide whether to trust another person with vulnerable feelings (“Are they consistent? Are their words and actions aligned?”). Intercut are bits of levity in the form of, for instance, a “Crying Bingo” card (squares list “on an Ikea display couch” or “at the DMV”), along with questions intended to foster connection to one’s emotions. Laced with wry humor (“Sure, life is beautiful, but good vibes only? In this economy?”), Garner’s approach to emotional health is permissive without being overly self-indulgent—readers can feel their feelings without getting consumed by them, she makes clear. This is one for the feelers who need a hand.

    • Library Journal

      June 10, 2024

      Psychotherapist Garner describes her debut as bite-sized chunks of "essays, activities, and science-y lists"; it isn't intended to be read in linear fashion. Difficult to categorize--inspirational? self-help? pop psychology?--it attempts to address the pandemic's years of ennui by offering readers cognitive-behavioral exercises, somewhat like an adult activity book. The author says that the past few years have brought about "an increase in permission to feel," and encourages readers to lean into their negative feelings in order to constructively work through them. Some activities are kooky: take a video of yourself crying (and maybe share the video with trusted friends) or host a cuddle puddle (yes, this is exactly what it sounds like). Other suggested activities are more conventional, such as forest bathing and moonlight picnicking. VERDICT As evinced by the title and the attendant activities, this is not the typical bromide-laden self-help book advising readers to turn their frowns upside down. The listicle-advice and activities can be a bit unorthodox and some just downright weird; some readers might even wonder if this is satire (it's not). To every book its reader, which is exactly why this book deserves space on the shelf.--Rita Baladad

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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