The Ghosts That Haunt Me

August 15, 2022
In this engrossing memoir, retired Toronto police detective Steve Ryan, who spent more than 30 years on the force, recounts six homicide cases that deeply moved him. He starts by recalling the case of the kidnapping, murder, and dismembering of a 10-year-old girl, which made him decide to change from the sex crimes unit to the homicide unit. Even though the murderer was caught, the family, the neighborhood, and much of Toronto still grieves. Several of the heartbreaking cases involved children, and some hit particularly close to home. Ryan tells the story of the 14-year-old daughter of two police officers, who was stabbed to death on New Year’s Day by an ex-boyfriend, in shocking detail. And the way he finally solved a cold case of a tortured and murdered little girl whose parents stuffed her in a suitcase and set it on fire is truly tragic. In plain, effective prose, Ryan writes honestly of the toll his work took on him and his family, and of the cruelty, horror, and sadness of the victims that ultimately led him to retire. This stark and honest account is sure to move true crime and police drama fans.

November 1, 2022
Now retired, Ryan worked as a Toronto police detective in many capacities, but the majority of his time was spent in the homicide unit. In this affecting and disturbing true-crime memoir, Ryan shares six cases that impacted him deeply. Some even changed the course of his work, such as the kidnapping and brutal murder of a young girl that made national headlines and spurred Ryan to move from the sex crimes unit to homicide. All but one of the cases Ryan recounts revolve around a girl or woman; most involve those closest to them. While some of the book's most interesting parts focus on Ryan and his fellow detectives building a case after an arrest is made, these parts also tend to include gory specifics. It helps that Ryan carefully centers victims and their grieving families in each story, which also takes a toll on the author and makes the act of forgetting impossible. This reading experience is not for the faint of heart, but true-crime fans will appreciate Ryan's sobering recollections.

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